Why Do Children Feel Better When They Know What Comes Next? ##The Science Behind Routines, Predictability, and Emotional Security Imagine this. It is 7:30 p.m. Your child has had dinner, played for a while, brushed their teeth, chosen one bedtime story, and now it is time for bed. Nothing particularly exciting happened. But your child knows exactly what comes next. Now imagine the same evening—but everything is different. Dinner is late. There is no usual bath. The bedtime story is skipped. A new babysitter is there. The lights are still bright, and suddenly it is time to go to bed. For an adult, this may feel like a slightly unusual evening. For a young child, it can feel like a completely different world. This is one reason routines matter. Children are constantly learning what to expect from the world around them. When daily experiences follow familiar patterns, children have more information about what is coming next. That predictability can make transitions easier and provide a sense of emotional security. And this becomes particularly important when a child is spending time with a new caregiver. ________________________________________ ##What Does “Routine” Really Mean? When we hear the word routine, we may imagine a strict timetable: 7:00 — breakfast 8:00 — school 12:00 — lunch 7:30 — bedtime But a healthy routine does not have to work like a military schedule. For young children, a routine can simply mean that certain activities usually happen in a familiar order. For example: ##Dinner → Bath → Pajamas → Story → Bed Or: ##Wake up → Breakfast → Get dressed → Play → Leave for daycare The exact times may change. The important part is the familiarity of the sequence. The American Academy of Pediatrics describes regular, predictable and consistent routines as helpful for children, while also emphasizing that families need flexibility rather than excessively rigid schedules. That distinction is important. ##A routine provides structure. It does not need to eliminate flexibility. ________________________________________ ##Why Does Predictability Matter So Much to Children? Young children have not yet developed the same ability as adults to understand and anticipate events. An adult can think: ## “The babysitter is new today, but Mom will come home later and everything will return to normal.” A toddler may not have the cognitive ability to make that entire connection. Instead, they experience what is happening right now.  A new person.  A different environment.  A change in routine.  A parent leaving.  A different bedtime. These changes can feel much bigger than they appear to an adult. Predictable routines can act as a familiar framework around these changes. The child may not know the babysitter yet—but they know: “After dinner, we read my favorite book.” That familiar experience can provide a small but important sense of continuity. ________________________________________ ##What Does Research Tell Us About Routines? Research does not suggest that every child needs a perfectly structured day. Instead, studies generally point toward an association between consistent routines and positive aspects of children's development and wellbeing. For example, a nationally representative study of approximately 8,550 preschool-aged children found that participation in a greater number of family routines was associated with a greater likelihood of high social-emotional health. The researchers found particularly strong associations for routines such as family dinners, storytelling, singing and play. More recent research has continued to examine this relationship. A 2026 study using data from 2,353 children followed across the preschool years identified different patterns of routine use. Children whose families maintained consistently high levels of routines had fewer reported attention, externalizing and internalizing problems at age five compared with children whose routines decreased over time, after adjustment for several confounding factors. However, there is an important scientific distinction: ##These studies show associations; they do not mean that routines alone cause better emotional or behavioral outcomes. Family circumstances, parenting practices, socioeconomic factors, relationships and many other variables can influence both routines and child wellbeing. So the message is not: “If you create a routine, your child will never have behavioral difficulties.” It is much more realistic: ##Predictable routines appear to be one of several environmental factors that can support children's wellbeing and adjustment. ________________________________________ ##Routines Are About More Than Schedules One of the most interesting aspects of routines is that they can combine structure and connection. Think about bedtime. A bedtime routine might be: Bath → pajamas → story → cuddle → sleep The child is not only learning what happens next. They are also experiencing repeated moments of connection with a caregiver. A story may become associated with a parent's voice. A particular song may become associated with comfort. A favorite blanket may become part of the transition toward sleep. Over time, these repeated experiences can become familiar cues that help the child move from one state to another. The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly recommends predictable bedtime routines and familiar rituals such as reading, storytelling and songs as part of healthy sleep habits. ________________________________________ ##What Happens When a New Babysitter Enters the Picture? This is where routines become particularly relevant to childcare. Imagine a three-year-old whose parents usually follow the same bedtime routine every evening. Then one evening, the parents need to go out. A new babysitter arrives. For the child, there are now two changes: ##A new person + a change in the usual social environment. The babysitter cannot instantly become a familiar caregiver. But they can make the environment feel more familiar. Instead of creating a completely new routine, the babysitter can ask: “What usually happens before bedtime?” Maybe the answer is: 🕐 Dinner → bath → pajamas → two books → favorite song → bed. Following that sequence gives the child something they recognize. The babysitter is new. The routine isn't. That difference can matter. ________________________________________ ##A Simple Example: Two Different First Sessions  Scenario A: “Let's Do Something Fun!” A babysitter arrives and says: “What do you want to do? Let's play!” The child doesn't respond. The babysitter suggests several games. The child becomes upset. The babysitter tries another activity. Eventually, the child starts crying for their parent. Nothing is necessarily “wrong” with the babysitter's intentions. But the child has been introduced to a lot of unfamiliarity at once. ________________________________________  Scenario B: “Show Me How You Usually Do It.” The babysitter arrives having already spoken with the parent. They know the child's favorite toy, usual snack, and bedtime routine. Instead of immediately introducing new activities, the babysitter says: “Your mom told me you really like your dinosaur. Can you show me?” Later: “I heard it's almost snack time. What do you usually have?” The babysitter is entering the child's existing world instead of immediately creating a new one. That can make the interaction feel more predictable. ##This is the kind of preparation that can turn a first session into the beginning of a relationship. ________________________________________ What Parents Can Share With a New Babysitter Before the first session, parents don't need to provide a 20-page instruction manual. A few practical details can make a big difference. 🕐 Daily Rhythm • When does the child usually eat? • When do they nap? • What time do they usually go to bed? 🧸 Comfort • What helps when the child is upset? • Is there a favorite toy or comfort item? • Is there a familiar song or phrase? 🍎 Food • What snacks are allowed? • Are there allergies or dietary restrictions? • Are there foods the child strongly dislikes? 🎨 Play • What activities does the child enjoy? • Are there screen-time rules? • Is outdoor play encouraged? 🌙 Bedtime • What is the usual bedtime sequence? • Does the child like a particular book? • Is there a specific goodnight ritual? These details don't just help the babysitter. They help the child experience continuity. ________________________________________ ##What Babysitters Can Do Babysitters don't need to become child psychologists to support a child's sense of security. A few simple habits can help. ##1. Ask Before You Arrive Instead of learning everything during the first 10 minutes, ask the family beforehand: “What does your child's usual evening look like?” ##2. Follow Familiar Patterns If the child normally eats before playing, keep that sequence when possible. ##3. Don't Rush Connection Some children will immediately start playing. Others need time. A child who doesn't want to interact immediately isn't necessarily rejecting the babysitter. Give them space. ##4. Let the Child Lead Sometimes Instead of: “Let's play with this!” Try: “What would you like to show me?” This small change can make the interaction feel less demanding. ##5. Keep Your Communication Calm Children often take cues from the adults around them. A calm voice, predictable responses and patient behavior can help create a calmer environment. ________________________________________ ##When Routines Change: Helping Children Through Transitions Life doesn't always follow the routine. Families travel. Children start daycare or school. Parents return to work. A new sibling arrives. A new babysitter joins the family. Rather than trying to eliminate every change, parents can prepare children for it. For example: Instead of suddenly saying: “Mom is leaving. Your babysitter is here.” Try: “Today, Sarah is going to play with you while I go out. First we'll have dinner, then you'll play with Sarah, and after your story I'll come back.” You are giving the child a simple mental map of what is going to happen. The details don't need to be complicated. Predictability can make change easier. ________________________________________ ## How TinyTend Can Help At TinyTend, we believe that a successful childcare experience begins before the babysitting session starts. That's why we want to make it easier for families and babysitters to share the information that matters. Through TinyTend, families can consider factors such as: ✔ A babysitter's experience with specific age groups ✔ Reviews and ratings from previous families ✔ Trusted Badge information ✔ Communication with babysitters before the session And the relationship doesn't have to end when the session ends. Post-session feedback can help babysitters understand what went well and where they can improve, while educational content can provide families and babysitters with practical knowledge about children and childcare. Because good childcare isn't only about finding someone who is available. It's about finding someone who understands the child. ________________________________________ ##A Simple Takeaway for Parents and Babysitters The next time a child struggles with a change, ask yourself: ##“What can I make familiar?” It could be: A familiar meal. A favorite toy. The same bedtime story. A familiar song. A predictable sequence. Or simply a calm adult who knows what the child usually expects. Small things can provide a sense of continuity when everything else feels new. And sometimes, helping a child feel safe doesn't require doing more. ##It means keeping a few important things familiar. ________________________________________ ##Want to Learn More? At TinyTend, we're building a growing collection of practical resources for families and babysitters—from children's routines and emotional development to building trust with a new caregiver. Follow TinyTend for new educational content and practical childcare tips.